Is it Christmas or is life just the way that it pisses me of anyways?

Imagine you've had a stressful day at college. Imagine you're coming home from a nice few days off. Imagine you've been withoene or more persons that really mean something to you for a few hours and had a good time. Or imagine you'Ve been at home with nobody around, just relaxing and chilling.

Nice ideas, aren't they?

And now imagine you coming home where your Mom and/or Sis are. Or Imageine them coming home. And suddenly all that good feeling is gone. They start a pointless discussion, go on your nerves with uninteresting and unnecessary info or simply talk to you like you did something wrong and the whole world hates you for it now.

Not so nice anymore, right?

And that's how my life is. Month after month, week after week, every single fucking day.

All I want is just one day of peace. One day of finally relaxing without anyone going on my nerves or disturbing the silence. I'm looking fr tranquility.

And what do I get? The opposite. Even during the holidays. And what's worse? I can already oh so accurately predict it.

It's time to move out.

If only that were as easy as it sounds...

Rule #1: If you open this you take it.
Rule #2: You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.
Rule #3: Be completely honest.

Answer: True or False

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? True
Q: Been arrested? False
Q: Do you like someone? True
Q: Held a snake? False
Q: Been suspended from school? False
Q: Sang karaoke? True
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? True
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? True
Q: Kissed in the rain? False
Q: Sang in the shower? True
Q: Sat on a roof top? True
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? False
Q: Broken a bone? True
Q: Shaved your head? False
Q: Played a prank on someone? True
Q: Shot a gun? False
Q: Donated Blood? False

Last Person
1. You hung out with? Moni, Alex, Jason and others
2. You texted? Nadine
3. You were in a car with? Moni
4. Went to the movies with? Moni
5. Person you went to shop with? Moni
6. You talked on the phone? Mom
7. Made you laugh? Alex
8. You hugged? Moni/Jo

Answer Truthfully
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or Right? Right
4. Sunny or rainy? Sunny
5. Where do you live? At home, Germany
6. Club or pub? Pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? Yes
8. Do you want to get married? Maybe
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
11. Are you afraid of commitment? No
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? Finishing my studies, not ending up with nothing
13. Do you cook? Sometimes
14. Current mood? Mix of content and pissed
15. Color of underwear? Black

In the Last 48 Hours, Have You
1. Sang? Yes
2. Listened to music? Yes
3. Danced Crazy? No
4. Cried? No
5. Liked someone you can't have? Yes

24 Firsts
1. Who was your first prom date? None
2. Who was your first roommate? None
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Berr or some cocktails, I guess
4. What was your first job? Leaflet
5. What was your first car? None yet
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? When I was 19 or 20
7. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Schmidt
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Never went yet
10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time? Not at all
12. Who was your first best friend in high school? Felix
13. Where was your first sleepover? Don't remember
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? No one
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or groomsman? No one's so far
16. What is the first thing you did when you got up this morning? Went to the bathroom
17. What was the first concert you went to? Peter and the Wolf
18. What was the last concert you went to? The Three Investigators live
19. First tattoo or piercing? None yet
20. First celebrity crush? Don't remember
21. Current celebrity crush? None
22. First crush? Don't remember
23. Current crush? Moni
24. First time you tied your shoe laces? Don't remember


Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Socks
2. second pair of socks
3. Some shirt

Three things you want very badly at the moment (in no particular order):
1. Have my essay done
2. Sex with a certain person
3. Tranquility


Two things you did last night:
1. Went to a birthday party
2. ---

Two things you ate last night:

1. Noodle Salad
2. Garlic Butter Baguette

Two people you last talked to on the phone:

Mom, Moni.

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. Finish my essay and hand it in
2. Go to courses at university
3. See my girlfriend

Two longest car rides
1. To Krefeld, Germany
2. To the North Sea, Germany

Favorite beverages:
B52, Choco Colada, Chocolate Punch, ...

If there is alcohol involved, anything goes. Everything's allowed and fine then, right?

Fcuking no!

Some people wonder, how and why I became the kind of introvert, stay-home, don't party, don't dance person I am.

Just because of evenings like today.

Going out is fine, going out with friends is fun and going out until 5 am., partying and getting to know cool new people is really really fine.

Up to the point where I have to notice that:

a) Persons I have kind of feelings for, seem to have absolutely no interest in me although we were having nice conversations and stuff.

b) Persons I just got to know, which actually are pretty open-minded, cool and fun convince me of things I've sworn to never do in my life, and which I'm having quite a lot of fun with a whole evening/night long just for them to let me drop and fully ignore or forget about me the next moment.

Thus, I ask: How dare women to treat men like that and demand to be treated like...I don't know...goddesses...in return. How dare they? How can they actually expect that?

Don't men have feelings? And can't feelings, no matter if they're those of a man or a woman, can't they be hurt alike?

Atm, I am really, REALLY pissed off, full of all that sh*t and sick of it. And the really sad thing is: The only thing that could calm me down and give me some peace and rest right now, is - of all the possibilities - a women - one I'd have stronger feelings for.

My two possibilities, because there is no such women here: Cry or smash something. I don't wanna do either of it, so I'll basically just bury my anger deep within me. Like I always do.


"World of emotions, gimme back my heart! Instantly! You're not worth of keeping it because you're one of the most despisable things in the world!"

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A tribute to some of the better if not best artists of deviantArt and my personal friends here on dA.

Good artists you should definitely have a look at:



Personal friends - go check them out, they're actually cooler than me ^^:

A tribute to some of the better if not best artists of deviantArt and my personal friends here on dA.

Good artists you should definitely have a look at:



Personal friends - go check them out, they're actually cooler than me ^^: